Tuesday

When my first thought of the day is “What am I going to do?” and quickly following is, “I am so stupid- I had my dream job… This is not a drill… I am too tired for “fighting’ or being a ‘warrior’.”

I got a new hairstyle- it’s super short for me. Apparently my hair was too thin and a bob is the standard style for thinning hair.

I don’t want to eat. I take twenty pills every day. I’m moody. I’m mean. I’m desperate. I fear that this is karma and only those who have been a part of my world in the past few years are too busy laughing at me to get my spirits up.

… Not a drill, evacuate immediately. Not a drill.

My body was hot to the touch this morning and I could not cool off. Now I’m freezing. Up! Down! Up! Down! Being hypothyroid really does a number on a person’s comfort zone. I’m just tired. I am hoping that my husband makes dinner… I don’t even want to talk. 
I’m at the point of having a full blown conversation with him – except I simply stare at him until he notices me.  That’s when he asks if I need something.  Mind you, I’m still just staring, not speaking.  Maybe I think we have telepathy!  I wonder if he can read my mind…  

Make dinner… Make dinner…

I’ve asked him if he can read my mind and he said “No. But when you won’t talk to me, it is so frustrating!” Hunh.  I suppose that it would be weird to have someone just stare you.  
Make dinner please…
It’s like I don’t have the best way to start any response to his question and the words all float around in different ways.

Dinner… Make dinner… Spaghetti… C’mon…

Shit! He’s going to take a shower.  

And from stage left, Headache makes it’s grand entrance.  

Make dinner… Please… Showers are dumb… Make dinner.

I’m hungry, yet I doubt that I will consume much.  Maybe I should just make a cup of tea and wait for his shower to end.


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